Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““I threw out my sausage, and replaced it with a healthier penis metaphor, like a cucumber.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.0 out of 5 (10 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“Great. Now I knew what his penis looked like. I could never have breakfast with the Paulson Pack again. Eating sausage with a straight… — Roxy Mews Copy Share Image
“You poked a fucking cucumber up his butt?” “Couple of ‘em.” He chuckled. “And you said I was the weird fucker.” “So, when did… — Scott Hildreth Copy Share Image
“Well it’s certain that turning into a sausage lover has made you even more dramatic, honey.” — River Mitchell Copy Share Image
“No lunch dates, no date to the ball, no penis for you. And you don’t want miss out on my penis. It’s a good… — Samantha Young Copy Share Image
“Here you are. Would you like some pickles?” “Pickles gives me the wind something awful.” “In that case—” “Oh, I wasn’t saying no,” Mistress… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“He’d chosen his muffin, now he had to live with that choice. And whether or not she ultimately wanted his sausage was his problem.” — Penny Reid Copy Share Image
“I could make better pie-type love with a new stove! I heard his disembodied voice shout back, “Dick territory, babe. Don’t even think about it unless I’m there.” “Chick territory,” I kept shouting. “A stove’s in the kitchen!” “It’s got a plug and weighs over fifty pounds. Totally dick,” he shot back on his own shout. I gave in, turning… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
