Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““My penis is like a wet noodle, only not as thick. Or tasty.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.5 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“Sometimes.. You love a bowl of noodles more than your partner at midnight.” — Himmilicious Copy Share Image
“She had a smile like tomato sauce on Tuesdays, and she made my penis feel like spaghetti in the strainer. But I wouldn’t restrain… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“steel. He is so long and thick. I’ve never felt a dick so huge. My thumb can't even reach the tips of my fingers.… — Justine Elvira Copy Share Image
“My penis lay pathetically along my left thigh, like some small animal washed ashore.” — Gillian Flynn Copy Share Image
“There is never a penis that is as comfortable hard as it is soft in a pair of jeans.” — John Goode Copy Share Image
“I’ve never wanted to insert my penis into a body more than I do yours.” — Rachel Robinson Copy Share Image
“My penis is looooooong. Wait, I think I left off an O. Probably better that way, so I can use it as my middle… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The feel of your big cock in me is delicious, but far more so when it's moving.” — Sylvia Day Copy Share Image
“I threw out my sausage, and replaced it with a healthier penis metaphor, like a cucumber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
