Quote by Jarod Kintz

“Darling, I have a penis. Ergo I have no preferences.”

— MaryJanice Davidson

“And don’t even get me started on penis size. Really, it just gets better the farther south your eyes go—trust me.”

— Rachel Van Dyken

“My penis isn’t big. It just appeared that way because the midget’s hands were so small.”

— Jarod Kintz

“The last three inches of my penis shaft are perfect. Of course, the last three and the first three are one and the same.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I’ve never wanted to insert my penis into a body more than I do yours.”

— Rachel Robinson

“I may have overmothered you and screwed you up in ways large and small, but I think it’s time you took some measure of…

— Anonymous

“I really wish I could confirm to him that you do in fact have a penis. A very big and pretty penis,” Blaire whispered.…

— Abbi Glines

“Yeah, listen you should really stop now, because I’m betting on the smartest thing that ever could come out of your mouth is a…

— Christine Zolendz

“It's a penis,' Grandma said. 'Stephanie got it in the mail. It's a pretty good one too.”

— Janet Evanovich

“Not hard anymore, are you?! Take that Penis!”

— Belle Aurora

“I'm sure I'll have more to say about the penis word.”

— John Irving

“Can you put your finger away please? Every time you point I see a penis.”

— Portlandia