Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce. That's scary. If the smartest guy in the world can't figure out women, we're screwed. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If I have one advantage, it's that I will try to work harder than the next guy. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The White House has finally found one guy that kinda remembers serving with President Bush in the National Guard. Now they just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
After saying the jobs bill is paid for, President Obama now says that it will be paid for by raising taxes over… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A Pakistan businessman is claiming that John Walker Lindh is gay and that he was his lover. Say what you will about… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to today's Los Angeles Times, Gray Davis now gets negative job ratings from white people, black people, Latinos, Republicans, Independents and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Vice President Cheney is also on vacation. He's in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. What better place for a guy who has had 4… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Former Enron founder Ken Lay and CEO Jeffrey Skilling found guilty in the Enron case. Ken Lay is so guilty I'm surprised… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take "a harder stance" on the death penalty. What's a harder… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know who Boehner is, right? He's that orange looking guy. See, for Republicans that counts as diversity. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The CEO of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, married one of the Enron secretaries this week. It's amazing how romantic these Enron guys can… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
This Tony Haywire guy, whatever his name is, he told the BBC on Sunday that he believes the new oil cap that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
An Israeli man's life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man's heart in a heart transplant operation. The guy is… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Tonight the Republican presidential candidates had a big debate, 10 candidates. The last time that many rich white guys got together, I… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The latest report is that Osama bin Laden has shaved his beard, is wearing Western clothes and has had plastic surgery. Isn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A second Homeland Security official has been arrested, a 49-year-old guy named Frank Figueroa, he was caught exposing and fondling himself to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
More and more details coming out now about spoiled rich kid Osama bin Laden. Time reports this week he was one of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Gary Condit is on the Congressional committee for Homeland Security. They make the guy responsible for Homeland Security who is the guy… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
An intruder broke into Mike Tyson's hotel room in Las Vegas while he was sleeping but got out before Tyson could get… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
