Comedian Quote by Chelsea Handler Download Open image “I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.” — Chelsea Handler ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.6 out of 5 (7 ratings) Copy quoteShare Comedian Hard
I didn't want to be a comedian. I was just funny. I jumped on stage and found out I was good at it. — Eddie Griffin Copy Share Image
I wanted to be a comedian, but I wasn't funny enough to do it every night. — John Popper Copy Share Image
I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.” — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you… — Colin Quinn Copy Share Image
At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able to put… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I like to turn up my collar when I'm leaving the theatre and feel like I'm some heroic comedian figure. — Frank Skinner Copy Share Image
The only difference between a comedian and someone else? We need to make people laugh more. — Greg Davies Copy Share Image
When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a comedian dies.… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary… — Pauly Shore Copy Share Image
I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they are and… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
If someone doesn't like a comedian that's fine; a lot of people probably don't like my standup, and that's fine. But I think that… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
It's very rare that an older comedian sort of slips into an old-school clunker. You know, you don't hear too much of that anymore. — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
I was a kid, and I would watch standup comics do the 'Tonight Show,' and if Johnny Carson liked you, he'd wave you over… — Jo Koy Copy Share Image
Gary Greenberg is a thoughtful comedian and a cranky philosopher and a humble pest of a reporter, equal parts Woody Allen, Kierkegaard, and Columbo.… — Gideon Lewis-Kraus Copy Share Image
For me, comedians are like the epitome for everything great, and they terrify me. I just want to be them. I want to be… — Tatiana Maslany Copy Share Image
