Jim Jefferies

I don't think comedy really does change people's minds; I think you can only get someone who is almost ready to change…

— Jim Jefferies

There's a fallacy with stand up comedy, which is, people come up to comedians, and they go, 'You say what I think…

— Jim Jefferies

I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they…

— Jim Jefferies

I don't think that I am a Lefty in the sense that I grew up in countries that have a universal health-care…

— Jim Jefferies

I like to weed out the people who aren't going to enjoy me straight off the bat. If you look at all…

— Jim Jefferies

I used to be of the opinion that it didn't matter who you voted for. The world balanced itself out and kept…

— Jim Jefferies

In my own life, hate has consumed me at times. Or envy. When my TV show was canceled, I didn't think it…

— Jim Jefferies

There's a theory with comedy that you shouldn't do anything that's too topical in your specials because people won't be able to…

— Jim Jefferies

I have an uncle I no longer talk to because of a joke I made about my grandmother, who is his mother.…

— Jim Jefferies

If I didn't have a gig, I used to ring up all the comedy clubs across the country and go, 'If anyone…

— Jim Jefferies

I don't think I've ever prayed in my entire life, never sat and had an imaginary chat with God.

— Jim Jefferies

I definitely think the formula to making my character seem sweet is to let him act like a jerk, give him a…

— Jim Jefferies

I've actually phased out the misogynistic jokes because I used to think that everyone knew that I was joking.

— Jim Jefferies

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

— Jim Jefferies

“It seems to me that they only seem to mention things in the Bible that are within a 5 mile radius of…

— Jim Jefferies

People don't get angry at you for shock value. People get angry at you when you affect something that is at their…

— Jim Jefferies

I still like to shock, but the jokes are less sexist. It's just that, at one point in my stories, there was…

— Jim Jefferies

God built the world, but he did not know it was round.

— Jim Jefferies

I can't imagine being a woman in the world of acting, like where you age starts to weigh you down - you…

— Jim Jefferies

Nobody cares that youre smart and nobody cares that your kids dont have bruises.

— Jim Jefferies

There are two types of actors. There's the actors who can acknowledge that they could never do standup comedy. Then there's the…

— Jim Jefferies

Having your own show, where you're not in trouble all the time, because you're kind of the boss, is a wonderful experience.…

— Jim Jefferies

Here's the thing about people who believe in god... They're idiots.

— Jim Jefferies

Can't punch women in the face!

— Jim Jefferies

Nobody cares that you're smart and nobody cares that your kids don't have bruises.

— Jim Jefferies