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Know Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
- I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
- I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
- I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
- I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you…
- My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light a bunch of…
- I know people who believe in ghosts but don't believe in themselves.
- My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If…
- I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
- People on the 14th floor, you know what floor you’re really on.
- I play the guitar. I taught myself how to play the guitar, which was a bad decision... because I didn't know how to play it,…
- My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the…
- I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
- I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
- I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
- You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the…
- I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
- It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
- I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fuck would make their…
- What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street... It's…
- Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a…
- I wrote a letter to my dad, I was going to write 'I really enjoyed being here', but I accidentally wrote 'rarely' instead of 'really'.…
- I went to see a band in New York. The lead singer got on the microphone, and he said How many of you people feel…
More Know Quotes
- Revolutionaries do not make revolutions. The revolutionaries are those who know when power is lying in the street and then they can… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- Man cannot be free if he does not know that he is subject to necessity, because his freedom is always won in… — Hannah Arendt
- I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself. — Pietro Aretino
- I'd take precision any day over power; as far as being tactical you know you have to see what's going on in… — Alexis Arguello
- As we all know, many people remain buried under tons of rubble and debris, waiting to be rescued. When we think of… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- I know how the American people care for that democratic principle. They want to see their vote respected. As we in Haiti… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach. — Aristotle
- My mother is the coolest, most amazing person I know. — J. J. Abrams
- Listen to what you know instead of what you fear. — Richard Bach
- A lot of punk rock is not going to be in the mainstream. It's below the radar. The beauty of it is… — Billie Joe Armstrong
- Obviously, I come from one background, and the people that design fitness equipment have been doing it for years and years, and… — Lance Armstrong