"If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but……" — Mitch Hedberg

More Alcoholic Quotes

This quote is filed under Alcoholic Quotes, one of 177 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

• Before Footloose, the things I'd done weren't cute. In Diner I was an alcoholic. — Kevin Bacon
• When you live in an alcoholic family or an abusive family, you tiptoe, you don't want to step on any… — Glenn Beck
• [Smoking is] a dirty habit that should be banned from America by the Government, instead of moderate alcoholic drinking. — Auguste Piccard
• Alcoholic drinks, rightly used, are good for body and soul alike, but as a restorative of both there is nothing… — George Saintsbury
• Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you… — Mitch Hedberg
• My makeup wasn't smeared, I wasn't disheveled, I behaved politely, and I never finished off a bottle, so how could… — Betty Ford
• I know I was an alcoholic because I was preoccupied whether alcohol was going to be served or not. — Betty Ford
• No one will deny that the excessive use of alcohol and alcoholic beverages would do more than any other single… — William Lyon Mackenzie
• So popular is beer, the world's best-selling alcoholic drink, that it is often taken for granted. Yet scientific analysis shows… — Michael Jackson
• The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . .… — Phyllis Diller
• Most bad books get that way because their authors are engaged in trying to justify themselves. If a vain author… — Stephen Vizinczey
• My present and most fixed opinion regarding the nature of alcoholic fermentation is this: The chemical act of fermentation is… — Louis Pasteur

See all 177 Alcoholic Quotes »