"What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks,……" — Mitch Hedberg

"What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable."

— Mitch Hedberg

Drinking Quotes Feeling Quotes Feeling Sick Quotes Feelings Quotes Nyquil Quotes Rocks Quotes Sick Quotes Sociable Quotes

163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
Well, that's a 'fresher'. I'm going on break.

See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »

More Drinking Quotes

This quote is filed under Drinking Quotes, one of 1,652 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
Drinking intensifies all your pressures and your needs. — Desi Arnaz
It is a sign of a dull nature to occupy oneself deeply in matters that concern the body; for instance,… — David Bailey
A drink a day keeps the shrink away. — Edward Abbey
Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up… — Roseanne Barr
I know not, sir, whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he did not, it seems to me… — James M. Barrie
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to… — Dave Barry
You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float. — John Barrymore
A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. — James Beard
I am a drinker with writing problems. — Brendan Behan
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? — Robert Benchley
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony. — Robert Benchley

See all 1,652 Drinking Quotes »