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Think Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
- So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have…
- Chicago is known as the Windy City, and Montana is called the Big Sky State, so I think that we should somehow combine the two…
- I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It’s a strange piece of machinery . . . We will take…
- Onions make me sad, a lot of people don't realize that. When I'm cutting onions, I'm sad. Because the plight of onions, it's sad. But…
- Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna, though. You bet…
- I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large,…
- It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
- I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
- Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I…
- I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload…
- Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a…
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