Nikhil Saluja Quotes
- It's all fun and games until someone loses their wifi signal.
- I still don't know how to end conversations with people, so now I just quietly hug them until they go away.
- Lifehack: End your day whenever you accidentally close your Gmail tab.
- If you're not a hater you're probably not thinking hard enough.
- My superpower is watching five hours of TV I'm not interested in because I can't reach the remote.
- If someone is mad at you and you have no idea why, that means they are crazy. Or a girl.
- The next time someone gets in my face to fight, I'll show them pictures on my phone of an ant I once drowned in some…
- The first thing I do when I receive wedding invitations in the mail is read them for typos.
- I totally woke up on the wrong side of the conference table this afternoon.
- Every day is a new opportunity for failure.
- Life is all about waiting for weekends.
- If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her.
- Saw some really bad porn said no guy ever.
- If we bang on the first date chances are our relationship is lasting about as long as my erection.
- Beautician: the official occupation of the 'I wear too much make-up fat girl'.
- A girls mouth is like a couch, once your dick gets in it, it becomes real fucking cumfy.
- I'm on this amazing new diet where the ladies I sleep with don't invite me to their birthday parties.
- Learned from my dentist that mouthwash is actually useless(you can't commit suicide with it)
- If you don't give kids the middle finger when their parents are not looking, we can't be friends.
- Don't be selfish and tell me why you're unfollowing me so I can retweet it for the rest and we all can have a laugh.