Best Nikhil Saluja Quotes
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Real ninjas don't hide from their problems.
From
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Two cats cleaning each other never ends well.
Cats
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Youre not my real Super Nintendo
Nintendo
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One time, I drunkenly threw up into a mailbox and yelled First class delivery and now I'm a dad.
Class
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The fart is coming from....inside your pants
Coming
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If you don't squeeze your girlfriend's boob and honk the car horn at the same time, then what the fuck?
Boob
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Without a boner sex would be point-less.
Boner
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Cross-eyed girls are hard to sneak around on, their always keeping a fucking eye on you.
Always Keeping
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When I'm not having sex I like jacking off, it really cums-in-handy.
Cums
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I'm like State Farm; when her husband leaves, I bang his wife 'like a good neighbor'.
Bang
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I just got a tattoo of a toilet on my chest, when I take off my shirt you better recognize that I'm the shit.
Better
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Hug your girl, kiss her forehead, and don't let her communicate with dudes with more muscles than you.
Communicate
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If your girlfriend complains that she's tired of giving you blowjobs, just outsource the work to her sister.
Blowjobs
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I wish pussy could talk just so that my dick would have the pleasure of shutting it the fuck up.
Dick
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Ladies, not swallowing is a huge fucking inconvenience. Respectfully, Men everywhere.
Everywhere
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Makeup sex: when I 'make up' some shit like, girl I still love you just so I can fuck.
Fuck
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Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. It's science.
Longer
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DO NOT ask her to send you a picture. Girls hate that shit. If she likes you enough she'll do it on her own.
Ask
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Typing the word your on Twitter when you mean you are is very dangerous.
Dangerous
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All a girl wants is a man to treat her right, among a million other things.
All
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If you text me to call you, go fuck yourself.
Call
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Before you commit to a bad decision, write your future self a letter explaining why you are making that choice.
Bad
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What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women!
Easier
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I just puked and some inspirational tweets came out. Now I know where some of you get your tweets from!
Came
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First come first serve is irrelevant when you show up with an AK-47.
Come First
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