« All Love Quotes · Mitch Hedberg's Page
Love Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
- I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
- Well, that's a 'fresher'. I'm going on break.
- Come on 'long prosperous life!'
- Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?
- Then let's print up some flyers!
- P.S. - This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.
- We don't have to fix anything.
- Mitch”, but then reattach it and call it “Mitch-all-together.
- I tried to throw a yo-yo away. It was impossible.
- I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
- People on the 14th floor, you know what floor you’re really on.
- Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8?
- Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
- I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.
- When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
- I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
- I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
- I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
- I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.
- All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
- I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
More Love Quotes
- Poets are the only people to whom love is not only a crucial, but an indispensable experience, which entitles them to mistake… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore… — Pietro Aretino
- Let us love winter, for it is the spring of genius. — Pietro Aretino
- I want to do what I want when I want to do it not be dictated to by audiences. — Dario Argento
- I went through a phase where I thought nostalgia was a bad thing. — Dario Argento
- In Italy the censor is very old and there are many judges and psychiatrists who analyse you. — Dario Argento
- When I was a teenager, I read a lot of Poe. — Dario Argento
- I find that it's hard to fully examine one's life and not have faith be part of the discussion. — J. J. Abrams
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- I work with really hard-working people who are really good at what they do. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide