"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a……" — Mitch Hedberg
"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"
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Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »
More Cool Quotes
This quote is filed under Cool Quotes,
one of 3,248 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Now there is so much expertise and brainpower it's hard to be at the cutting edge of what's cool and…
— Darren Aronofsky
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I have the ability to sing with emotion and feeling, but if you say I sound like Billie Holiday, that's…
— Erykah Badu
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How serious can a movie about time-traveling robots be? You want it to be cool and fun.
— Christian Bale
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There are movies where actors aren't characters but movie stars, being cool beyond belief throughout the whole movie. That is…
— Christian Bale
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I know that people think I'm sexy and I am looked at as that. It is cool with me. It's…
— Aaliyah
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I don't go to the cool, trendy restaurants. I go to either the holes in the wall or the super-fancy…
— Tyra Banks
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look…
— Dave Barry
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I remember being on film sets when I was younger, and only men got to do the cool action movies.…
— Drew Barrymore
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I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat.…
— Roseanne Barr
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I still, at hotel rooms, I do this one sort of not-so-cool thing: continually shoving my room service tray in…
— Drew Barrymore
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Heroes don't wear diapers. It's just not cool.
— Felix Baumgartner
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For too long, our country's version of an energy policy has consisted of Americans waking up every day and wondering…
— Bob Beauprez
See all 3,248 Cool Quotes »