"So, I sit at the hotel at night……" — Mitch Hedberg
"So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny."
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Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »
More Convince Quotes
This quote is filed under Convince Quotes,
one of 805 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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You're creating a different world and the actor's job is to be able to convince the audience to enter into…
— Christian Bale
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We have to convince the people of Bucharest, who are dog lovers, to treat dogs like they treat their children…
— Brigitte Bardot
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The way I write my songs is that I have to believe what I'm writing about, and that's why they…
— Adele
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The one thing that offends me the most is when I walk by a bank and see ads trying to…
— Jeff Bezos
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The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
— Josh Billings
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No animal on the face of the earth could conceive of taxation. You and I work roughly six months a…
— Rita Mae Brown
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I wish your increase in holiness, number, love, religion, and righteousness; and wait you, and cease to contend with these…
— Donald Cargill
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I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.
— Muhammad Ali
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If you would convince others, seem open to conviction yourself.
— Lord Chesterfield
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I just managed to convince my grandmother that it was a worth while that was something to do, you know,…
— Eric Clapton
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To hold a people in oppression you have to convince them first that they are supposed to be oppressed.
— John Henrik Clarke
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I believe so much in the power of performance I don't want to convince people. I want them to experience…
— Marina Abramovic
See all 805 Convince Quotes »