"I play the guitar. I taught myself how……" — Mitch Hedberg
"I play the guitar. I taught myself how to play the guitar, which was a bad decision... because I didn't know how to play it, so I was a shitty teacher. I would never have went to me."
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Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »
More Bad Quotes
This quote is filed under Bad Quotes,
one of 14,431 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I went through a phase where I thought nostalgia was a bad thing.
— Dario Argento
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Characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.
— Aristophanes
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Bad men are full of repentance.
— Aristotle
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It is the role of good journalism to take on powerful abusers, and when powerful abusers are taken on, there's…
— Julian Assange
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Bad things are not the worst things that can happen to us. Nothing is the worst thing that can happen…
— Richard Bach
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I would not suggest the U.S. should sit down with the North Koreans bilaterally immediately after they've fired missiles -…
— Richard Armitage
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There are some forms of religion that are bad, just as there's bad cooking or bad art or bad sex,…
— Karen Armstrong
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If my forgeries looked as bad as the CBS documents, it would have been 'Catch Me In Two Days'.
— Frank Abagnale
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People that go through what I went through and people going through divorce, it's really a difficulty process; it's heartbreaking…
— David Arquette
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If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?'…
— Arthur Ashe
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From my close observation of writers... they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any…
— Isaac Asimov
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The problem with leaderless uprisings taking over is that you don't always know what you get at the other end.…
— Chinua Achebe
See all 14,431 Bad Quotes »