"I have a few cavities. I don't like……" — Mitch Hedberg
"I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you know where I can store a pea' 'Yes, I have some locations available.'"
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Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »
More Available Quotes
This quote is filed under Available Quotes,
one of 1,436 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Communications technology changes possibilities for communication, but that doesn't mean it changes the inherited structure of the brain. So you…
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The weaker the data available upon which to base one's conclusion, the greater the precision which should be quoted in…
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Man seeks to change the foods available in nature to suit his tastes, thereby putting an end to the very…
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It's a question of spreading the available energy, aerobic and anaerobic, evenly over four minutes. If you run one part…
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Shop often, shop hard, and spend for the best stuff available - logic dictates that you can make delicious food…
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To say the word Romanticism is to say modern art - that is, intimacy, spirituality, color, aspiration towards the infinite,…
— Charles Baudelaire
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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As long as there's land available, single-family homes will be built, and Colorado residents will always go for a single-family…
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The position that I take partly as a result of living in Asia is where you stop living according to…
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I always felt that anorexia was the form of breakdown most readily available to adolescent girls.
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What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when…
— Alexander Graham Bell
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As more information becomes available, and the magnitude of the storm's impact becomes even more apparent, it becomes clear that…
— Jo Bonner
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