"What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't……" — Mitch Hedberg
"What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street... It's a way to open shit..."
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Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »
More Chance Quotes
This quote is filed under Chance Quotes,
one of 6,711 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire.
— Aristotle
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I think in the case of horror, it's a chance to confront a lot of your worse fears and those…
— Adam Arkin
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I think it's important as a filmmaker, as any person working in the arts, that you've got to try new…
— Darren Aronofsky
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If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on top of each other, it can be assured that disaster…
— Norman Ralph Augustine
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Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.
— Jane Austen
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Chance is an element of life. What I try to do is study what I call the mechanics of reality…
— Paul Auster
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The world is so unpredictable. Things happen suddenly, unexpectedly. We want to feel we are in control of our own…
— Paul Auster
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First, I have to thank God for giving me the gift that he did as well as a second chance…
— Oksana Baiul
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Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and diligence.
— Abigail Adams
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In my mind's eye, I visualize how a particular... sight and feeling will appear on a print. If it excites…
— Ansel Adams
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Chance, my dear, is the sovereign deity in child-bearing.
— Honore de Balzac
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You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be…
— Ernie Banks
See all 6,711 Chance Quotes »