“With the woman I loved, I wouldn’t change one second with her. No, I’d change all the seconds, and the thing I’d… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I made you a logo. It’s supposed to represent you as a person, and that’s why it looks like an asshole. I… — Jarod Kintz Business Copy Share Image
“I am nine fifteen feet tall. I mean nine fifteen time tall. I measure height with my watch.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Last night I read two books back to back. Tonight I’ll probably read both of those books’ front covers.” — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“You know you’re in love when you reach out to hold your woman’s hand, without remembering that her hands are full because… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“A kiss involves two people, so I not only have to think about me for me, I have to think about me… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If Ted Kennedy made it to heaven, do you think he’s pleased with the fact that Jesus can… — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“I put the “cat” in category. And not only do I put it there, but I pet it too.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“How to grow up slowly and secretly, not all at once like lunch in a condom, that is the essence of politics.… — Jarod Kintz Politics Copy Share Image
“I’d rather be assassinated. It’s not like I’m doing anything this evening. Inevitably there’ll be a parade, so just remember your umbrella.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You can’t believe every word you read while watching TV. (Even with closed captioning turned off).” — Jarod Kintz Language Copy Share Image
“He’s like my best friend. And I say that only because I have no real friends, and Cap’n is a great listener… — Jarod Kintz Best day Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in a heart transplant operation. And for just $25,000 more dollars, that brick could be switched with… — Jarod Kintz Heart transplant Copy Share Image
“How not to get rejected: ask a fat chick out to dinner. Do you think obesity ever says no to free food?” — Jarod Kintz Free food Copy Share Image
“I’m great at making love, at least for the first 20 bucks, and for about 30 minutes after that I just sort… — Jarod Kintz Investing Copy Share Image
“Your writing can be chosen by one publisher and hated by all readers, or it can be rejected by one publisher and… — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“The American Dream is to not have to work, so with unemployment at record levels, you’d think more people would be excited… — Jarod Kintz American dream Copy Share Image
“I am the love machine of desire. I’m easy to operate. Just pull on my lever.” — Jarod Kintz Computers Copy Share Image
“My book is awful,” I said. “Nonsense,” Dora J. Arod said. “Your book is nonsense.” — Jarod Kintz Book Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to cook with, as a thickening agent in gravy. But as history proves, the thickest agents work… — Jarod Kintz History Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If the man of your dreams existed in two dimensions only, would you try to print duplicates of… — Jarod Kintz Dreams Copy Share Image
“I run like I have cirrus clouds for legs and rainbow knees. What is life, if not a marathon of love? ” — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“I think all toys should be invisible. Not only would they improve children’s imaginations, but they’d also be really affordable. In fact,… — Jarod Kintz Children Copy Share Image
