Hillary Clinton's opponent in the U.S. Senate race, the Republican she's going to be running against, has been married three times, had… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Halloween's coming. Kids get very imaginative in my neighborhood. Last year, three kids showed up as Goldman Sachs executives and demanded 4.5… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry was the big winner in Iowa. Ted Kennedy introduced Kerry as the 'comeback kid.' That used to be Bill Clinton's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I was born the day I got my license. When I was a kid, if I wanted to go somewhere and see… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Wasn't it thrilling when the U.S. Women's team took home the gold in gymnastics? A group of American teenagers getting a higher… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama told a group of school children that broccoli was his favorite food, and they believed him. Then he told them… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
More details coming out about Michael Jackson. It seems his 13-year-old accuser testified before a grand jury that Michael had seven locks… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
That American Taliban kid Johnny Walker was indicted today. Ten counts of terrorism. He could get 5 life sentences. In Taliban terms,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The car was the iPhone of the 20th century. Kids these days don't have to drive anymore. They just go there virtually. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Corporations complained about [safety] regulations, but let's face it, people walk away from accidents now that would have killed them when I… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush said that our kids must be taught how to read. He said if his aides never learned to read, they'd… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Here's an uplifting story. Congratulations to the Little League team from Huntington Beach, California. Yeah, they beat Japan to win the Little… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Remember when we used to worry about some weirdo having a razor blade inside an apple on Halloween? Not anymore. Like a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Scientists are complaining that the new dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I guess you heard about this; the U.S. Olympic Committee is coming under fire after it was revealed that the uniforms for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Did you hear about this 20-year-old kid named John Walker from Northern California who was apparently fighting for the Taliban?... It didn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
California Governor Gray Davis visited an elementary school here in Los Angeles where he taught a class. I don't want to say… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
More and more details coming out now about spoiled rich kid Osama bin Laden. Time reports this week he was one of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
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