I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
That's America for you - a red herring culture, always scared of the wrong things. The fact is, there are a lot… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The New York Times - but the whole country gives it that weight. It's like the Asian kid in math class. Everybody… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be a comedian, even when I was a little kid. I had a funny father who was in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The teachers don't know anything. What are the kids going to learn with a horrible education system? — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I kid the Republicans, with love. I feel bad for them. They got nobody for next time. Who are they gonna run?… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
My father was a news guy, you know, he was in radio news. And so that was sort of in my DNA.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
White people have always shown their superiority over blacks with their feet, moving out of black neighborhoods with the fear that their… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead … Mitt Romney had to respond… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies. I think flying planes into a building was a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You can't lie to kids about drugs. They know about drugs. You can't say they're just all bad. They know life is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: If an Evangelical tries to use Halloween to pimp Jesus to kids, they get to egg his house. On Halloween,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I kid Fox News, but they may be a little biased. We had an earthquake here on Monday, and they reported that… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Kids. They're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'd like to protect children, too, but... is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good...… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
