Humor Quotes · Page 778

“You cannot be truly humble, unless you truly believe that life can and will go on without you.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Smartass Disciple: Master, please show me the way to the enlightenment. Master of Stupidity: Walk with me! [but I won't let you…

— Toba Beta

When I do theatre in New York, I typically only get cast in comedy.

— Lauren Ashley Carter

SNL' is pretty much what fully got me into comedy.

— Quinta Brunson

“These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks, he…

— Woody Allen

“A kitten is the delight of a household. All day long a comedy is played out by an incomparable actor.”

— Champfleury

“And private in his chamber pens himself, Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight out, And makes himself an artificial night. Black…

— William Shakespeare

“Don’t worry, I’m not quitting. I’ve decided I’m going to stay and make his life a living hell while I run his…

— Devon Rhodes

“I have to admit we are locked in the most exquisite mysterious muck. This muck heaves and palpitates. It is multi-directional and…

— Donald Barthelme

I believe I am God's favorite comedian. I think he is a really big comedy writer. He writes scripts. And I just…

— Corey Feldman

I'm always trying to perfect the romantic comedy, though.

— David Duchovny

“It looks good on you." "Huh?" "The uncontrolled laughter. It looks good. Even if I'm the butt of your joke. And for…

— Shannyn Schroeder

The first step of any journey must be taken with daring in your heart. Don't let fear clog your arteries

— T.S. Welti

When you wrap up your self-worth with your talent, and suddenly you might not be the most talented, that's really scary. And…

— Rachel Bloom

Now, where does my comedy come from, like, as a human being? Yeah, when I was a kid I was dyslexic and…

— Dax Shepard

I don't really know of the Jewish tradition of comedy, only the Jewish tradition of not keeping your mouth shut. Complaining about…

— Fred Melamed

I don't know if there is a gene for comedy, but my dad was a very funny man. He just didn't know…

— James Belushi

“And for the record, I'm not short! I'm space-efficient.”

— C.T. Oliver

My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a…

— Kapil Sharma

“He took a breath, then proclaimed, 'Lady Shaselle of Hytanica, I am in love with you.' I burst into laughter, pulling my…

— Cayla Kluver

“Violet: "You're an asshole." Onyx: "Thank you, it's something that took an eternity to perfect.”

— Jessica Shirvington

“It's Unfair to be fair, For Life is unfair”

— Farley Maglaya

It's hard to write comedy when you're worried all the time.

— Brian Quinn

“Other males saw Nïx as exceedingly comely; all Bowe saw was a powerful being made mad as a hatter from her foresight.…

— Kresley Cole

“Eat slowly," the blueblood said. "Don't cut your food with the fork. Cut it with the knife, and make the pieces small…

— Ilona Andrews

“Treat life as a suicide mission, take on the impossible jobs and attack with the gusto of someone who has nothing to…

— josh stern

And I would be the first to admit that probably, in a lot of press conferences over the time that I have…

— Bobby Knight

You cannot say, because I am from Naples so I like the mixture of drama and comedy all together.

— Sophia Loren

My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, "Woof!" The other replies, "Moo!" The dog is perplexed. "Moo?…

— Morey Amsterdam

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill.

— Mitch Hedberg

If you're into comedy, you will know what the show is about. We have so many comedy geeks, comedy enthusiasts, fanatical people…

— Rhys Darby

What I found most fun is just trying to get other people to crack up. That's always something that will help a…

— Joe Lo Truglio

You have options when it comes to abortion now. It's not like 1955 when you just had to kick her down a…

— Doug Stanhope

Arrive at the net with the puck and in ill humor.

— Fred Shero

Doing comedy is very challenging, as I am a shy person in real life.

— Raashi Khanna

“Oh, Jesus was taking the wheel!”

— Kelly Oxford

“Please do not lick anything past this point.”

— Mira Grant

“It was a trick he had found in Perplexing Parlour Illusions, but the instructions were infuriating, unhelpful and vague. Phrases like 'then…

— Neil Gaiman

Everything I experience in life, I put through the sausage-maker that is comedy, and then try to make it funny for others.…

— Russell Howard

I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.

— Erma Bombeck