“If a pretty picture and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you you probably have one of those really… — Demotivator Copy Share Image
I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way". — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“Felix just sat there, not smirking exactly - or not so as you could call him on it - but clearly happy… — Sarah Monette Copy Share Image
Even going on stage is a service because it brings people up from thinking about their lost job or their lost spouse… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
“its pretty warm out here for a coat.' Jessica said, an eyebrow lifted at him. 'i'm willing to suffer for style.” — Olivia Cunning Copy Share Image
Of course, my whole theory of comedy is based in reality. The funniest stuff comes from real life. — Philip Rosenthal Copy Share Image
To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong! — Chad Michael Murray Copy Share Image
“Actually, I wish you were a chef. Then I'd get something out of this relationship.” — Wesley Chu Copy Share Image
“We were all dressed like a ragtag group of reject ninjas.” — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“LADY BRACKNELL I had some crumpets with Lady Harbury, who seems to me to be living entirely for pleasure now. ALGERNON I… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Laughter has been implanted in our soul, that the soul may sometime be refreshed. — Saint John Chrysostom Copy Share Image
I think serious situations actually make for the best kind of belly laughs. But they're also the hardest to convert into comedy… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
“He doesn't teach you what to think. He teaches you how to think.” — Lurlene McDaniel Copy Share Image
It is perhaps life's greatest accomplishment to live to old age, maintaining one's wits, one's sense of humor, one's health, and one's… — Yehudi Menuhin Copy Share Image
Hoover, if elected, will do one thing that is almost incomprehensible to the human mind: he will make a great man out… — Clarence Darrow Copy Share Image
“What do you think we should do about Sampson?" I asked. "I would have to say...stop him," Sam said. "How?" I asked… — Jennifer Priester Copy Share Image
“Mr. Carter cleared his throat. “Soy sauce.” He deadpanned. “Really, Sera?” — Flora Roberts Copy Share Image
Approaching a comedy character is fun because you get to sit down with the director and ask, "What makes you laugh?" Then… — Matthew Lewis Copy Share Image
I think humor is actually a very serious thing. I think the people who shaped culture, for the better, in the last… — John Lurie Copy Share Image
“I would have had to kill him, and Death, you know, keeps secrets better even than a guilty Roman.” — Lew Wallace Copy Share Image
We kind of lost a lot of that and puppeteers were sticking to the script and we thought everything needed to get… — Brian Henson Copy Share Image
“. . . mixing defensiveness with anger - a wonderful mix, by the way.” — Liza Palmer Copy Share Image
“At any other time, we would have been sheep in the company of wolves. But now, we have what people might call… — Susan Ee Copy Share Image
Nine-tenths of the value of a sense of humor in writing is not in the things it makes one write but in… — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
“Sorry, When it walks like a saint, and quacks like a saint- It's a quacking saint.” — C.C. Hunter Copy Share Image
“I’d rather straighten my pubes with a flat iron than go on another blind date.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“Then she probably would have waved back," Max said. "And it might be a he." "Ha! Not likely," Lucia said. "Didn't you… — Ellen Potter Copy Share Image
Comedy is about talking about my own experience, and I'm a woman, and that's my experience, and just because it isn't yours… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden’s brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload.” — Courtney Kirchoff Copy Share Image
“When you are no longer in the sexual universe – when you are supposedly too old, or too big, or simply no… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As an actor you get categorized by other people, but it's not like I arrange myself into comedy mode or serious mode.… — Sophie Thompson Copy Share Image
