Covered Quote by Tommy Cooper

“Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.” quote by Tommy Cooper — Download Open image

“Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.”

Tommy Cooper

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Covered Cream Found Funny Humor Ice Ice cream Lying Lying on the floor Men Police Vans

More by Tommy Cooper

It doesn't matter how many times the audience has heard it before. If it's funny, it's funny.

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“Two blondes walk into a building. You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.”

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Last night I slept like a log. I woke up in the fire place.

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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed,…

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I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius…

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Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

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I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

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Gambling has brought our family together. We had to move to a smaller house.

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And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.

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He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's…

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My wife said, 'Take me in your arms and whisper something soft and sweet.' I said, 'chocolate fudge.'

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Electricity is a wonderful thing. Do you realise that if we didn't have electricity, we'd be watching television by candle light?

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Explore all 78 Tommy Cooper quotes

More Covered quotes

It goes to show you how we in the press so often miss the big stories that are right under our noses. There is a famous journalistic legend about the time a young reporter covered the Johnstown flood of 1889. The kid wrote: God sat on a hillside overlooking Johnstown today and looked at the destruction He had wrought. His…

Roger Ebert

As an adventurer...I try to protect against the downside. I make sure I have covered as many eventualities as I can. In the end,…

Richard Branson

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By profession a biologist, [Thomas Henry Huxley] covered in fact the whole field of the exact sciences, and then bulged through its four fences.…

H. L. Mencken

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Getting older doesn't help you in the fact that you might have covered some of this ground before. So you're listening to a song…

Garth Brooks

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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.

Bob Saget

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It is sometimes said that because of our past we, as a people, expect too much and set our sights too high. That is not the way I see it. Rather it seems to me that throughout my life in politics our ambitions have steadily shrunk. Our response to disappointment has not been to lengthen our stride but to shorten…

Margaret Thatcher

'Helping industry' is the elephant pit of socialism, a deep hole with sharp spikes at the bottom, covered over with twigs and fresh grass.

Enoch Powell

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Most of the world is covered by water. A fisherman's job is simple: Pick out the best parts.

Charles W. Waterman

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You will find a spring by the dwelling of the dead, to the left. Next to it stands a white cypress. Do not approach that spring, do not go near it. You will find another spring that pours from the lake of Memory, cool water gushes out of it. There are guards in front of it. Address these words to…

Gustaw Herling-Grudzinski