Quote by Tommy Cooper Download Open image ““Two blondes walk into a building. You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.”” — Tommy Cooper ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.2 out of 5 (7 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“There was only one blonde in the room, and she didn’t even have a tan.” — Francine Pascal Copy Share Image
“I don't want to tell you how I know she isn't a real blonde. Guess.” — Nicole Amakan Copy Share Image
“... were trying to tell the dumb blonde to close her mouth, but the woman clearly took her hair color very seriously.” — Sharon Green Copy Share Image
“An attractive blonde behind the receptionist's desk smiles at me as I walk in. I assume she’s the receptionist, because I can’t think of… — Fanny Merkin Copy Share Image
“He smiled. “I think a blonde. Anything with black hair has always been trouble for me.” — Deanna Raybourn Copy Share Image
“You're really a blond," she said, her tone just short of accusatory. "And if you tell anyone, I will come to you in the… — Kelly Creagh Copy Share Image
“I want that little blonde bitch in the lobby to hear me screaming your name.” — Aaron B. Powell Copy Share Image
“Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.” — W.C. Fields Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter how many times the audience has heard it before. If it's funny, it's funny. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed,… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
Gambling has brought our family together. We had to move to a smaller house. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
My wife said, 'Take me in your arms and whisper something soft and sweet.' I said, 'chocolate fudge.' — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
Electricity is a wonderful thing. Do you realise that if we didn't have electricity, we'd be watching television by candle light? — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
