I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of. — Dov Davidoff Amazed Copy Share Image
Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism. — Dov Davidoff Break Copy Share Image
People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn. — Dov Davidoff Commitment Copy Share Image
Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it. — Dov Davidoff Acceptance Copy Share Image
Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach. — Dov Davidoff Beach Copy Share Image
Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush. — Dov Davidoff Bathroom Copy Share Image
At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse. — Dov Davidoff Committed Copy Share Image
All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully. — Dov Davidoff Politician Copy Share Image
Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social. — Dov Davidoff Annoying Copy Share Image
Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding. — Dov Davidoff Cases Copy Share Image
I like to be able to connect with people. And that's how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to… — Dov Davidoff Able Copy Share Image
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them. — Dov Davidoff Esteem Copy Share Image
It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant. — Dov Davidoff Beauty Copy Share Image
Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but… — Dov Davidoff Different Copy Share Image
Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary. — Dov Davidoff Cases Copy Share Image
I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well. — Dov Davidoff Gay Copy Share Image
I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood. — Dov Davidoff Appreciated Copy Share Image
People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of… — Dov Davidoff Care Copy Share Image
Finding your voice is something you have to keep working at. Your voice as a comic evolves the same way that you… — Dov Davidoff Comic Copy Share Image
America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself. — Dov Davidoff America Copy Share Image
I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another. — Dov Davidoff Being real Copy Share Image
I don't know about you, but I like to fall in love on Mondays. This way if things go south right away… — Dov Davidoff Fall Copy Share Image
Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room. — Dov Davidoff Annoying Copy Share Image
Perhaps being hated in the right way is preferable to being loved in the wrong one. — Dov Davidoff Being hated Copy Share Image
