Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Coming to terms with my feelings of worthlessness isn't always a bad time, but it's rarely a good one. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Throwing up is natures way of saying you need to re-examine your idea of a good time. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I like to be able to connect with people. And that's how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to somebody. To… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
