I don't know about you, but I like to fall in love on Mondays. This way if things go south right away… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right? — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Ending a sentence with yo, is like saying, I don't want a job. Not today. Not ever. Know what I mean yo? — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
The worst part about people with bad personalities is they don't know it. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I have emotional needs that I didn't know I had, and I have physical needs that I didn't know weren't really needs. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I like to be able to connect with people. And that's how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to somebody. To… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
