“I have only one complain with my self that i think m i a great thinker but can't do any thing .” — Arun k singh Copy Share Image
“The difference here 'twixt simple and witty folk, if the truth be known, is that your plain man cares much for what… — John Barth Copy Share Image
I have always been of the opinion that hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I was going to do something today but I haven't finished doing nothing from yesterday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Because I can't help doing it," he said with a shrug. "And hey, if I keep loving you, maybe you'll eventually crack… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“Why can't I just Google it like everything else?! I hate you public library system!” — Vera Brosgol Copy Share Image
“You have wondered perhaps, why all real accountants wear hats? They are today’s cowboys” — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
“You know, like that old Catch 42 expression that stands for the meaning of life is that in the end you always… — Jack Campbell Copy Share Image
“Sex," the driver said, "Has no one ever told you about it?" I took the New York Times from my carry-on bag… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
If I ever find myself in North Carolina I shall marry a man just to feel safe. — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
I find as a viewer, when I go to see comedies, the strain to be funny throughout the whole thing. I start… — Mike White Copy Share Image
“After they left the office, Peabody shoved her hands in her pockets. "These nicknames are pissing me off." "But you're not I'm-Too-Good-to-Pee-Body.… — J.D. Robb Copy Share Image
“When I get back to my dorm room, there it is, staring at me from above my bed. The Vladimir Putin calendar.… — Andrea Portes Copy Share Image
“Self-pity is the hens' besetting sin," remarked Mr. Payton. "Foolish fowl. How they came to achieve anything as perfect as the egg… — Elizabeth Enright Copy Share Image
In my dealings with the press, I was like the guy who goes into the cathouse and the madam gets him prepared… — Bobby Knight Copy Share Image
“Who are you?’ Gaia gasped. The girl froze for a moment. Looked at her. Smiled and said, ‘Who am I? I’m the… — Michael Grant Copy Share Image
“Well, thank the gods,' he sighed. 'Oh? And what would it be you're thanking them for?' Bahzell inquired, and Brandark grinned. 'For… — David Weber Copy Share Image
I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs.… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“I think it's a rule that it's socially acceptable to wet yourself when aliens enter your mind for the first time. If… — Orson Scott Card Copy Share Image
“Is this some kind of joke?” “I have no sense of humor.” She’d heard that about Raphael.” — Larissa Ione Copy Share Image
“...daily receiving the old physician in his study; or visiting the laboratory, and, for recreation's sake, watching the processes by which weeds… — Nathaniel Hawthorne Copy Share Image
If anyone feels the way about Hot Rod that I felt about the comedies I liked growing up, I feel like it's… — Andy Samberg Copy Share Image
I've always said people say on a dramatic show, 'I was crying. It was so emotional when he went and grabbed that… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I'd like to think my brand shares some of those characteristics we like to think of as classically American - a certain… — Michael Bastian Copy Share Image
Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism.… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
I hope you will be yourself, human, even a little sentimental, possessed of a sense of humor and a sense of humility.… — Harry A. Blackmun Copy Share Image
“Perhaps if you were to refrain from deploying the phrase ‘ignorant buffoon’ with a liberality most writers reserve for ‘it’ and ‘the,’… — Vinnie Tesla Copy Share Image
