Bob Newhart

Television series are like the stock market. There's room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs.

— Bob Newhart

I didn't need the elf outfit to play an elf; I could just play an elf.

— Bob Newhart

When I was off TV, people would ask me to please come back, which I think was their way of saying, 'There's…

— Bob Newhart

I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn't work, then I knew it didn't work.…

— Bob Newhart

Don't be silly and don't waste your time.

— Bob Newhart

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't…

— Bob Newhart

The best advice I could give someone trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you…

— Bob Newhart

As an actor, you generally want to see the other actor's face.

— Bob Newhart

You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.

— Bob Newhart

But I really believe that if you have the ability, there is an obligation to make people laugh

— Bob Newhart

The reason I'm a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to…

— Bob Newhart

I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's…

— Bob Newhart

I feel more comfortable in comedy.

— Bob Newhart

I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same…

— Bob Newhart

I made a record album in 1960 and it exploded, and I got all these offers for TV.

— Bob Newhart

Chuck Lorre and I had been talking about doing one of his shows for a while. I said I'd like to do…

— Bob Newhart

No matter what hyenas sound like, they are not actually laughing.

— Bob Newhart

There are some actresses that can't do comedy; it's too heavy-handed.

— Bob Newhart

I was never a Certified Public Accountant... I just had a degree in accounting. The reason I was never a Certified Public…

— Bob Newhart

Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things…

— Bob Newhart

I've always said people say on a dramatic show, 'I was crying. It was so emotional when he went and grabbed that…

— Bob Newhart

I was an accountant in Chicago, and a friend of mine, Ed Gallagher, was in advertising. At 4:30 every day I'd be…

— Bob Newhart

I am one of the great wasters of time. I have made it an art form. I can get up at 8…

— Bob Newhart

I don't think too much about age. Maybe if you're hurting, aching and arthritic, then you think about it a lot. But…

— Bob Newhart

“A guy walks into a psychologist's convention with a banana in his pocket.When asked about the significance of this he says;well,they were…

— Bob Newhart