You're not dead at 85. You're a long way from it. Go out and enjoy. You've earned it. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am... a dry sense of humor. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
Stand-up is different from television. In stand-up, you've got to be in control. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I don't think too much about age. Maybe if you're hurting, aching and arthritic, then you think about it a lot. But… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I'm glad you can't talk on your cells while the plane is in the air. That would drive me crazy. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
You may have done 20 great shows in a row and come to one, and it doesn't work. You never presume anything. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I can't do a one-camera show. I don't know how to do that kind of show where you count in your head… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I don't know how doctors pick one specialty over another. Some you can understand. Pediatricians. Or gynecologists delivering babies, bringing a new… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
If you look at Jack Benny, George Burns, or Don Rickles, they've all had long, successful marriages. So, I think there's something… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I found the most difficult thing when you became successful - when I had the record album, it won Album of the… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I've always said people say on a dramatic show, 'I was crying. It was so emotional when he went and grabbed that… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
Dick Martin, if you put a gun to his forehead, he couldn't tell you a joke. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
Without great writing, you've got a bunch of actors bumping into each other. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
Don't live in the past. There's no point. You can't change anything. What a waste of time. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I think the thing about it is when you grow up in Chicago there's such a thing as putting on airs, you… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
Probably the best advice I ever got in my life was from the head of the accounting department, Mr. Hutchinson, I believe… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
The best advice I was probably given and the best advice I could give someone who is trying to get into the… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
The highest of highs is to have a new routine that you're just breaking in and that's working, and that's - you're… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I always hated when the studios just kind of said that anybody can act. You look at people like Spencer Tracy, Henry… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than their knowledge of how to tell… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
Television series are like the stock market. There's room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I didn't need the elf outfit to play an elf; I could just play an elf. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
When I was off TV, people would ask me to please come back, which I think was their way of saying, 'There's nothing out… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn't work, then I knew it didn't work. Then I… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
The best advice I could give someone trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
But I really believe that if you have the ability, there is an obligation to make people laugh — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
The reason I'm a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to what other… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's still an… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
