“You guys are ridiculous," he says, retreating back to the kitchen. "Your flirting just scared the hell out of me." "Scared the… — Pittacus Lore Copy Share Image
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“Rorshach's journal. October 16, 1985. Been waiting in Moloch's fridge for three hours. Ate two raw eggs and packet of honey mustard… — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press 1 eighteen thousand times. — Randy Glasbergen Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry I missed the meeting and hurt your little feely-weels okay?” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“Sit back and enjoy. And remember: Always be careful what you say around your kids.” — Donna Chapman Gilbert Copy Share Image
“Mustardseed grinned at Bertie. "I was never any good at geometry, but you’re stuck in a love triangle, aren’t you?" "Shut up,"… — Lisa Mantchev Copy Share Image
“Some people who have been working out regularly for months or even years are still out of shape because the number of… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“God envy them, who loves their lover, more than the god. God hates them the most who loves someone pretending but they… — F.R Copy Share Image
I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
[Hollywood] is obviously so fake, but then comedy is this little carve-out of sincerity. I love it. I get to be funny… — Ilana Glazer Copy Share Image
“All other beer is ass, and I will not put in the the work to acquire the taste for things that taste… — Baratunde R. Thurston Copy Share Image
Before Midnight is one of the years best movies. Full to the brim with humor, heartbreak, and ravishing romance. Richard Linklater directs… — Peter Travers Copy Share Image
The subtle differences in language and humor that get lost in translation, for example, make it almost impossible for big companies to… — Larry Gelbart Copy Share Image
In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest.… — Warren Hutcherson Copy Share Image
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In 'Seesaw,' I played Gittel Mosca, and because it was a musical, I loved it more because I was able to do… — Michele Lee Copy Share Image
I'm a natural clown, I suppose, in writing, and one has to accept that; I can't do anything about it. I have… — Anthony Burgess Copy Share Image
“Baby, it's either laugh or cry and crying takes way too much energy. If you can't find humor in the shit life… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
What we may think is funny or cute may end up being powerfully hurtful. — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
I've dropped a lot of race humor from my routines, not because I think it is in bad taste, but because I… — Nipsey Russell Copy Share Image
Gross things sound funny and set people up to listen to something a little uninviting. — Brian Chippendale Copy Share Image
This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“The hamster-powered hat is the same as any other hat. It keeps your head warm and looks smart,” the inventor said. “The… — Mark Jackman Copy Share Image
One of my favorite things about sketch comedy is doing parodies and music videos. — Adam Conover Copy Share Image
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I find intelligence sexy. I find a sense of humor sexy. I find sensitivity sexy. — Nicole Appleton Copy Share Image
Conflict is entertaining and it's the stuff of drama - or comedy - but too much conflict, or conflict that's at too… — Graham Linehan Copy Share Image
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![“[Hollywood] is obviously so fake, but then comedy is this little carve-out of sincerity. I love it. I get to be funny and do this.” quote by Ilana Glazer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/612/ilana-glazer-15509_comedy_hollywood-is-obviously-so-fake-but-then_448344.jpg)
