“God, she was convinced, would look the other way. It was Christmas after all.” — Dahlia Schweitzer Copy Share Image
“Have you caught cold?' 'It would appear so.' 'You could give it to Margaret,' Ramses suggested. His uncle turned the tinted spectacles… — Elizabeth Peters Copy Share Image
“Now, when any vicious simpleton excites my disgust by his paltry ribaldry…” — Charlotte Brontë Copy Share Image
“The silver car had been closing in, but just then, it took a sharp turn to the left. Where are they going?… — Zechariah Barrett Copy Share Image
I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to… — Matt LeBlanc Copy Share Image
“I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don’t think you can beat my vibrator.” — Anna Bayes Copy Share Image
“Finally, Jace suspects it's a bad sign that he is referring to himself in the third person.” — Swati Avasthi Copy Share Image
I've known Don Mancini for 22 years. We're dear friends. I know his humor, I know his mind. — David Kirschner Copy Share Image
“Citizen N°1: Look! Citizen N°2: up in the SKY! It's... who IS that? Ion (Kyle Rayner): See? Get some new clothes and… — Ron Marz Copy Share Image
Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor. — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
“The problem is that we've got a sense of humor and (Republicans have) got guns. Will we die laughing?” — Thomas M. Disch Copy Share Image
“Oh, this is not the time for us to get into that meshugenah debate again! Look, the point is that Jesus of… — Phillip Andrew Bennett Low Copy Share Image
“How as a young girl, Ismat Chugtai convinced her father to excuse her from learning how to cook, and give her instead… — Ismat Chughtai Copy Share Image
“Men were just plain ridiculous with how little time it took them to get handsome.” — Gina Robinson Copy Share Image
My approach to comedy is that whenever it comes to me, I write it. With 'The Daily Show,' you have to write… — Ronny Chieng Copy Share Image
“Get that Property Of Whitford Public Library stamp and stamp it right on his forehead. Then cross out the library's name and… — Shannon Stacey Copy Share Image
“He took me in skeptically. "Darling, the ensemble is fabulous," he said, patting my hand, eyeing my black jacket, black tie, black… — Patti Smith Copy Share Image
A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Whence comes this idea that if what we are doing is fun, it can't be God's will? The God who made giraffes,… — Catherine Marshall Copy Share Image
The best comedy and horror feel like they take place in reality. You have a rule or two you are bending or… — Jordan Peele Copy Share Image
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change. — Sam Kinison Copy Share Image
There are things in low comedy that make people uncomfortable, and there are things in high comedy that make people bored. — Lorne Michaels Copy Share Image
“How long do we wait?” “Long as it takes,” he said distractedly because she was sucking the salt off her thumb. Then… — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
[Agatha Christie] is fond of quoting the witty wife who once said, 'an archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have;… — Nigel Dennis Copy Share Image
It may have been a comedy, or it may have been a tragedy. It cost one man his reason, it cost me… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“What’s going on?” “Nothing.” She coughed, and released Talaith’s hand. “Except you have some powerful enemies.” “Tell me what I don’t know,… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“Roger said, 'I don't know about having a shrink around all the time. Are you analyzing me right now?' Sophie rolled her… — Jennifer Lane Copy Share Image
I'm definitely not frowning on improv; I mean, I've been doing it for years. I just think that there's some styles of… — Thomas Middleditch Copy Share Image
“Just as I was flung over the threshold, I embraced Grigoire the Swiss Fiancé in a rugger grip, determined that smug cockatoo… — David Mitchell Copy Share Image
“In fact, we'd discussed marriage on several occasions just because we seemed to get along so well, but after thinking long and… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I can't imagine being a woman in the world of acting, like where you age starts to weigh you down - you… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Humour breaks down boundaries, it topples our self-importance, it connects people, and because it engages and entertains, it ultimately enlightens. — John Agard Copy Share Image
![“[Agatha Christie] is fond of quoting the witty wife who once said, 'an archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. Christie's husband, Max Mallowan, was an archaeologist.” quote by Nigel Dennis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/058/nigel-dennis-24689_archaeologists_agatha-christie-is-fond-of-quoting-the-w_441066.jpg)
![“I can't imagine being a woman in the world of acting, like where you age starts to weigh you down - you go from being attractive to where they [directors] decided you're out... I feel like with stand-up comedy, it doesn't matter if I've gotten fatter.” quote by Jim Jefferies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/d03/jim-jefferies-8092_acting_i-can-t-imagine-being-a-woman-in-the-wor_441958.jpg)
