It used to be that in media, Johnny Carson used to be the most important person when he would invite you over… — Lisa Lampanelli Comedy Copy Share Image
I'm not looking for 'outer esteem' anymore, what they call 'other esteem.' I'm looking for self-esteem. And people think that self-esteem is… — Lisa Lampanelli Life Copy Share Image
This thing happened where I noticed anytime I got together with four friends or more, the conversation goes to food. — Lisa Lampanelli Communication Copy Share Image
Insult comedy has been around forever. I can make fun of people, and they won't get mad at me. — Lisa Lampanelli Around Copy Share Image
I've played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience… — Lisa Lampanelli Club Copy Share Image
I lost over 100 pounds, so I'm even angrier than ever. I don't stuff my feelings anymore with food. Skinny girls are funny. — Lisa Lampanelli Feelings Copy Share Image
I would make a few jabs at myself and go for the audience - they are still as flawed as ever. — Lisa Lampanelli Audience Copy Share Image
Until I got the weight off, there was something inside of me that said, 'You hate yourself.' You get too depressed over… — Lisa Lampanelli Hate Copy Share Image
What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life... people sense that. — Lisa Lampanelli Life Copy Share Image
The more conservative you dress, the more you can get away with. — Lisa Lampanelli Away Copy Share Image
I have a shrink in New York and a shrink in Arizona, just in case. You never know when you will have… — Lisa Lampanelli Case Copy Share Image
Even going on stage is a service because it brings people up from thinking about their lost job or their lost spouse… — Lisa Lampanelli Comedy Copy Share Image
I heard Cher say, 'I answer to two people: Myself and God.' I say, 'I only answer to me. I'm not sure… — Lisa Lampanelli God Copy Share Image
I'm not a political comic at all, so it would be weird if I just turned into a preachy, sort-of political commentator. — Lisa Lampanelli Comic Copy Share Image
If they hate you, they hate you, but I've always been polarizing, and I love that. — Lisa Lampanelli Always Copy Share Image
Comedy is like music - there are genres and styles for every taste. Katy Perry is there for people who like frothy… — Lisa Lampanelli Art Copy Share Image
I always wrote about myself in the third person. I knew how to promote myself so it sounded intelligent. I know how… — Lisa Lampanelli About Copy Share Image
'Baywatch' sucks so bad. I didn't watch it the first time around; I'm sure not going to buy a DVD. But really,… — Lisa Lampanelli Acting Copy Share Image
Betty White is so old that on her first game show ever, the prize was fire. — Lisa Lampanelli Fire Copy Share Image
Every day, I wake up and ask, 'Am I hungry?' If I'm physically hungry, I eat something that's hopefully good for me,… — Lisa Lampanelli Day Copy Share Image
I really think the biggest honor, as a comic, is to get roasted by either the Friars Club or the Comedy Central… — Lisa Lampanelli Club Copy Share Image
I keep getting asked out by really young, good looking boys and really ugly lesbians. So, even if I wanted to jump… — Lisa Lampanelli Boat Copy Share Image
I'm not a private person. I like hanging out and talking to fans. But my life isn't so interesting that you want… — Lisa Lampanelli Fans Copy Share Image
I do a big roast of Trump during my set now - which I clearly expanded on - because there's so much… — Lisa Lampanelli About Copy Share Image
