None of my comedy depended on looks. I never did tons of fat jokes. — Lisa Lampanelli Comedy Copy Share Image
I'm always proud of what I've done and what I continue to do. — Lisa Lampanelli Always Copy Share Image
Insult comedy has been around forever. I can make fun of people, and they won't get mad at me. — Lisa Lampanelli Around Copy Share Image
I'm decorating my parents' house for Christmas... I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as… — Lisa Lampanelli Baby Copy Share Image
I've gone through literally over 30 years of struggle with weight and food and body image... and I'm like, 'Wait a minute.' — Lisa Lampanelli Body Copy Share Image
Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He's Mr. T without the acting chops. — Lisa Lampanelli Acting Copy Share Image
Shortly after college, I was working in New York City at 'Rolling Stone' magazine. — Lisa Lampanelli City Copy Share Image
Make a list of the people in your 'choir'... If you're not on your own list, then you're doing something wrong. — Lisa Lampanelli Choir Copy Share Image
This thing happened where I noticed anytime I got together with four friends or more, the conversation goes to food. — Lisa Lampanelli Communication Copy Share Image
I know Bea Arthur left the Pam Anderson roast really early, but it could have been because she was half dead; I… — Lisa Lampanelli Could Copy Share Image
I have rage and anger issues. So I get mad about stuff in real life, and then I yell about it onstage,… — Lisa Lampanelli Anger Copy Share Image
I wasn't ready to be a dog's mother! Trust me, I'm completely unfit and irresponsible. I'm a comic that travels 48 weeks… — Lisa Lampanelli Dog Copy Share Image
I got sick of trying everything. I tried every single thing imaginable - diet, exercise. I even bought a house on the… — Lisa Lampanelli Diet Copy Share Image
I'm a take-no-prisoners type of comic, and I'm lucky because my fans get me and never have a problem with the politically… — Lisa Lampanelli Comedy Copy Share Image
I'm not a private person. I like hanging out and talking to fans. But my life isn't so interesting that you want… — Lisa Lampanelli Fans Copy Share Image
Too many people have already lost their lives to HIV and AIDS, and the more celebrities who can bring attention to the… — Lisa Lampanelli Aids Copy Share Image
By being politically correct, you're closing your mind to a different point of view. Which sounds a lot like prejudice. Which is… — Lisa Lampanelli Correctness Copy Share Image
I'm obsessed with reality TV anyway - I use my knowledge of that stuff to make jokes on Twitter and Facebook to… — Lisa Lampanelli Fans Copy Share Image
I was 25 myself once. I also thought I knew everything. I also thought that I could give singers singing advice and… — Lisa Lampanelli Age Copy Share Image
I keep getting asked out by really young, good looking boys and really ugly lesbians. So, even if I wanted to jump… — Lisa Lampanelli Boat Copy Share Image
'Baywatch' sucks so bad. I didn't watch it the first time around; I'm sure not going to buy a DVD. But really,… — Lisa Lampanelli Acting Copy Share Image
I thought I had to work at someplace everybody's heard of. It was never, 'I'm interested in such and such. I want… — Lisa Lampanelli Job Copy Share Image
People with HIV and AIDS are nothing to be afraid of. They are people just like every single one of us, and… — Lisa Lampanelli Afraid Copy Share Image
I didn't feel ready to leave home, because it went from no freedom to all freedom. And I was like, 'Oh, my… — Lisa Lampanelli Freedom Copy Share Image
When doing comedy, I do what makes me laugh. The first person I learned from said I should talk about things I… — Lisa Lampanelli Comedy Copy Share Image
Basically, I think some of the weight helped take some of the walls down in reality, so basically I got a little… — Lisa Lampanelli Confident Copy Share Image
The more conservative you dress, the more you can get away with. — Lisa Lampanelli Away Copy Share Image
Donald is very happy with his lovely wife, insert name here. — Lisa Lampanelli Happy Copy Share Image
I gained weight, and that started a 32-year struggle with weight and exercise and body image problems. — Lisa Lampanelli Body Copy Share Image
That's the whole thing: You only roast the ones you love. That's why I never make fun of the French. — Lisa Lampanelli French Copy Share Image
