What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life... people sense that. — Lisa Lampanelli Life Copy Share Image
Jeff Foxworthy is a legend. Every time I see his moustache it reminds me to wax my lip and every time I… — Lisa Lampanelli Ass Copy Share Image
I say every slur on the planet - racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet - and… — Lisa Lampanelli Everything Copy Share Image
I order food like a normal human being. If I'm out to lunch, I'm going to order three courses like everybody else.… — Lisa Lampanelli Food Copy Share Image
With Don Rickles and me, we're just telling the truth. We're not terrific people, and we're not gonna win the beauty contest.… — Lisa Lampanelli Average joe Copy Share Image
Until I got the weight off, there was something inside of me that said, 'You hate yourself.' You get too depressed over… — Lisa Lampanelli Depressed Copy Share Image
A roast is really an honor. If they picked me to be roasted, I'd be the most flattered I'd be in my… — Lisa Lampanelli Heroes Copy Share Image
We usually let our husbands negotiate the house and the cars. But I never had a husband, so I was always buying… — Lisa Lampanelli Always Copy Share Image
Before, I didn't do celebrity stuff, 'cause Kathy Griffin did that, but now, if you're going to make jokes on Twitter, you… — Lisa Lampanelli Celebrity Copy Share Image
I honestly feel like 99 percent of people have some kind of self-hate about their looks, and if I can joke about… — Lisa Lampanelli Better Copy Share Image
It used to be that in media, Johnny Carson used to be the most important person when he would invite you over… — Lisa Lampanelli Carson Copy Share Image
I really think the biggest honor, as a comic, is to get roasted by either the Friars Club or the Comedy Central… — Lisa Lampanelli Club Copy Share Image
By Hollywood standards I'm still fat: until you are zero, you are big. I do get cold a lot now. I used… — Lisa Lampanelli Big Copy Share Image
I kind of knew inside that I wanted to try comedy, but it was a mystery. How do you start? So when… — Lisa Lampanelli Comedy Copy Share Image
I'm not looking for 'outer esteem' anymore, what they call 'other esteem.' I'm looking for self-esteem. And people think that self-esteem is… — Lisa Lampanelli Esteem Copy Share Image
I think people were just seriously happy to find a funny woman who does comedy like a man. Because I learned how… — Lisa Lampanelli Comedy Copy Share Image
I've played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience… — Lisa Lampanelli Club Copy Share Image
The thing is, in the dating profiles it says 'spiritual,' but not with a specific religion. And so I pretty much try… — Lisa Lampanelli Dating Copy Share Image
