I remember once doing a benefit for a Jewish charity and wearing an enormous cross. I kind of don't let the audience… — Lisa Lampanelli Anything Copy Share Image
I can really serve the audience instead of making this about me and about serving myself and my pocketbook. — Lisa Lampanelli About Copy Share Image
I'm not ready to die yet. I have, like, 40 years left that I have to make up for all of the… — Lisa Lampanelli Die Copy Share Image
Interesting-looking people have always been comedians, and it's rare that someone who has the choice to model ends up being a comic.… — Lisa Lampanelli Choice Copy Share Image
The only reason I was allowed to have a career for a quarter century as an insult comic is because it's all… — Lisa Lampanelli Allowed Copy Share Image
I remember, after the Pamela Anderson roast, being told, 'You're sold out - you can add two more shows.' — Lisa Lampanelli Being Copy Share Image
My thing has always been, I've never been very open and vulnerable with people, so the minute I got this dog, everything… — Lisa Lampanelli Better Copy Share Image
The dog lasted. The marriage didn't. So it shows which relationship was meant to be. — Lisa Lampanelli Dog Copy Share Image
I've really been working on the emotional and internal issues that made me eat in the first place. It's been a real… — Lisa Lampanelli First Copy Share Image
I know Bea Arthur left the Pam Anderson roast really early, but it could have been because she was half dead; I… — Lisa Lampanelli Could Copy Share Image
Too many people have already lost their lives to HIV and AIDS, and the more celebrities who can bring attention to the… — Lisa Lampanelli Attention Copy Share Image
A roast is really an honor. If they picked me to be roasted, I'd be the most flattered I'd be in my… — Lisa Lampanelli Heroes Copy Share Image
The thing is, in the dating profiles it says 'spiritual,' but not with a specific religion. And so I pretty much try… — Lisa Lampanelli Dating Copy Share Image
With Don Rickles and me, we're just telling the truth. We're not terrific people, and we're not gonna win the beauty contest.… — Lisa Lampanelli Average joe Copy Share Image
I say every slur on the planet - racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet - and… — Lisa Lampanelli Everything Copy Share Image
When you're dealing with a sick person, you're not important at all. You're just a nobody. — Lisa Lampanelli Important Copy Share Image
I didn't feel ready to leave home, because it went from no freedom to all freedom. And I was like, 'Oh, my… — Lisa Lampanelli Freedom Copy Share Image
None of my comedy depended on looks. I never did tons of fat jokes. — Lisa Lampanelli Comedy Copy Share Image
A lot of comics just joke around, but it's just as important to get the truth out there. — Lisa Lampanelli Important Copy Share Image
By being politically correct, you're closing your mind to a different point of view. Which sounds a lot like prejudice. Which is… — Lisa Lampanelli Different point of view Copy Share Image
I hate comics who look at comedy as therapy. But at least it gets things out of my system in a funny… — Lisa Lampanelli Comedy Copy Share Image
I got sick of trying everything. I tried every single thing imaginable - diet, exercise. I even bought a house on the… — Lisa Lampanelli Diet Copy Share Image
