The follower counts should be hidden so we can be fair and judge people only by the quality of their tweets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LUXURIES, Items which, by grand design, always cost more -- for example: a divorce decree costs more than a marriage license — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I texted my girlfriend a picture of my flaccid penis. I just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate to travel. I guess it's because my father used to beat me with a globe. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't try to please people you'll fail, But you can piss them off and please yourself! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't waste your life living in a $100,000 apartment when you can live under a $15 million dollar bridge. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That little pissed off feeling you get when a girl calls you cute. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just learned today that bacteria is not the back door of a cafeteria. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVER(S), People who never get tired of each other because they are always talking about themselves; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Too MANY people ask for the truth, but too FEW can actually handle it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl loves when you go all-in in a poker game. The woman loves when you go all-in in the bedroom. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something they say is blind -- it's marriage which is the real eye opener; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only reason I'd ask what happen today, is to steal some ideas to tweet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When it comes to sex and phone calls, I have mastered the art of keeping them under a few minutes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVER(S), A person who could only be more perfect if your partner turned into a pizza at 4:00 am — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and relationships. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You Can Waste It Or Use It For Good! What You Do Today Is Important Because You Are Exchanging A Day Of… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Police should arrest people tweeting under the influence of stupidity. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when I have a tweet in my head and my friends doesn't retweet it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade; if it hands you tomatoes, make vegetable stew. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I know the person talks a lot I avoid using these words: 1) Really? 2) Please explain! 3) Hello. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Kindness : I never will understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
See it with your own eyes, hear it with your own ears. Think with your own mind and decide with your own… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Going to gym really sucks. But I calculated, and there's a good news - I only have to go 9,972 times before… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Without our immigrants, who will kick our field goals, or train our white tigers? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
BRB Have to run to the toilet, but I'll be back in two shakes of a man's penis. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My cock got caught in my zipper today…at least that's what I'm telling my wife when she sees the teeth marks on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whenever someone says This day couldn't get any worse I immediately punch them in nose & ask Are you sure about that? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you follow me & expect a follow back, please do let me know! So I can block you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are only 2 things wrong in family reunion. The family thing & The reunion thing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I didn't give a fuck until I drank Red Bull. Now I don't give a flying fuck. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My sweet wife getting so upset watching Sunny Leone. Guess I should stop masturbating and see what's wrong with her. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What the fuck is going up there - My stomach wondering while I'm chewing gum — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I never knew you could offend someone by masturbating. This couple just opened their closet and they look really pissed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean you are inferior¦¦ it does mean you are not perfect! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
