Funny facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 21

She wanted to sign up as an organ donor, but all she had was a guitar.

— Nikhil Saluja

Oh, your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?

— Nikhil Saluja

Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.

— Nikhil Saluja

She watch Titanic for the love story. I watch it for one scene with boobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

— Nikhil Saluja

Never lend a book to someone who don't know how to read, never give your heart to someone that don't know how…

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, A situation which happens when you think almost as much of another as you do of yourself;

— Nikhil Saluja

If you can't be the reason behind her smile, at least be the reason she walks funny for a while!

— Nikhil Saluja

I feel the tears slowly rolling down my eyes and suddenly the tears wont stop.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

— Nikhil Saluja

He'll never be better than he is on the first date. Unless he's rich and hasn't told you yet.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm well aware when i've to use suck me or fuck me. Yea I'm classy like that!

— Nikhil Saluja

I typed the word Google into Google. Guess what came up? Everything.

— Nikhil Saluja

I feel like I'm a cockroach when I'm sleeping on my back trying to get up

— Nikhil Saluja

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

— Nikhil Saluja

Girl's Life Lesson 1: Crying confuses men. They get uncomfortable and will do anything to get it to stop. Take advantage.

— Nikhil Saluja

Lost in words, hidden in lies, memories forgotten, silent goodbyes.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dating your exes again are just like shopping at your own garage sale.

— Nikhil Saluja

Me: I think I could make you very happy She: Why? Are you leaving?

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't forget to tell everyone how you hate Mondays, because we were all wondering how you feel about them.

— Nikhil Saluja

People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

— Nikhil Saluja

Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU…

— Nikhil Saluja

When you fuck over people who've been nothing but good to you, you create demons for yourself.

— Nikhil Saluja

Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are.

— Nikhil Saluja

There are 2 reasons why we dont trust people: 1. We dont know them. 2. We do know them.

— Nikhil Saluja

KISSING, A method of getting two people so close together that they can't possibly see anything wrong with each other;

— Nikhil Saluja

Hole (noun) : When a mouse laughs at a cat, there is a hole nearby.

— Nikhil Saluja

My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds.

— Nikhil Saluja

Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!

— Nikhil Saluja

When life gives me lemons, I'm like What's the catch? Because in this expensive world no one's just giving away free lemons.

— Nikhil Saluja

I wish people would learn from their mistakes and not keep making the same exact ones, damaging themselves.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother.

— Nikhil Saluja

Never use wet wood in your fireplace. Always let weeping logs dry.

— Nikhil Saluja

Statistically, 10% of women will find this joke offensive. The other 90% are in the kitchen, where they fucking should be!

— Nikhil Saluja

So your name is Will, But you don't call your crotch The Willderness, then what the fuck?

— Nikhil Saluja

If you convince me to make me think WHAT THE FUCK you instantly get a retweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to…

— Nikhil Saluja