Funny facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 19

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

— Nikhil Saluja

Conference: One man's confusion multiplied by the number of people there.

— Nikhil Saluja

Some smoke after sex. Some sleep after sex. Others just cuddle. I remove traces of my DNA.

— Nikhil Saluja

If I missed your call, please send a text that says I called you.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out

— Nikhil Saluja

My sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think I'm stupid.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate knowing that I care more about other people than other people will ever care about me

— Nikhil Saluja

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you separate the whites and the colored clothes during laundry, you're a racist.

— Nikhil Saluja

People on a diet should have a salad dressing called 250 Islands.

— Nikhil Saluja

Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, You don't have AIDS, do you?

— Nikhil Saluja

I thought I loved her, but she had to break my heart for me to know what true love really is

— Nikhil Saluja

Thinking of punching these random street people in the face is an excellent way to waste an evening.

— Nikhil Saluja

No matter how Poor you think you are., If you have A Family, you have Everything & Rich.

— Nikhil Saluja

Relationships can end, if you stop doing what you did at the beginning.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, TRUE, marrying a girl, even though she hasn't a steady job

— Nikhil Saluja

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, then we can be good friends.

— Nikhil Saluja

A woman goes to a palm reader and hears that her husband will die a violent death. She asks, Will I be…

— Nikhil Saluja

In this country, alcohol is hardly ever seen as a drug problem. Instead, we think of it as more of a driving…

— Nikhil Saluja

Your manhood is not a license. Her curves are not an excuse. Challenge the stereotype.

— Nikhil Saluja

I dont have commitment issues, I been buying the same brand of whiskey for 8 years

— Nikhil Saluja

What's the WiFi password here? is the new Finally I decided to visit you

— Nikhil Saluja

If beer pong was one of the event in the Olympics, I would get gold for sure.

— Nikhil Saluja

Just converted to a new religion. It's called idontgiveafuckism.

— Nikhil Saluja

In time your heart will heal. Have a little faith in your decision, I know it wasn't an easy one for you…

— Nikhil Saluja

This bitch always make me confuse the fuck me eyes with the fuck you eyes...

— Nikhil Saluja

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

— Nikhil Saluja

Compromise: The art of dividing the cake in a way that makes everyone believe they got the largest piece.

— Nikhil Saluja

Honey, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex! It's also the food preparation.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the MILKMAN says, Do you want it in the front or the back?

— Nikhil Saluja

Three Things to Coltivate... Courage, Cheerfulness and Contentment.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A person who never really becomes good, he is merely more proficient.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The only game that is never called on account of darkness;

— Nikhil Saluja

Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate when women say that all men want from them is sex, coz that's bullshit. We want you for blowjobs too.

— Nikhil Saluja

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hello? Hello, uh ... do you sell ladders? Sorry, you have the rung number.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

— Nikhil Saluja

You can tell a lot about a person by their car… For example, if it's in a ditch, it's a woman.

— Nikhil Saluja

Drunk Twitter because embarrassing myself in one zip code was never enough.

— Nikhil Saluja