I wish my wife would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of romance and marriage; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
If a girl takes the time to straighten her hair and you don't fall in love with her you're an asshole. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Today I sent out a text saying, Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it? 12 people called me...I need smarter… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Newtons law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I think the woman who invented the phrase 'All Men Are The Same' was a chinese woman who lost her husband in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits so when you add someone it'll say 'You are now friends with benefits!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've always had a feeling that maybe God and Satan were females.. because guys can't keep grudges for this long.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember... I KNOW… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the ocean was made of vodka and I were a duck,i would swim to the bottom and never come up. But… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At the store buying 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its a new drug thats becoming more potent by the day floating around and got people mind gone worse than crack its… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God is Good, Great, so many things to us. It could of been a coincidence but my prayer did come true, I… — CJ Copy Share Image
Girls are the best vehicles in the world because: 2 beautiful headlights in front, 2 great bumbers at the back, self-lubricating when… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
POKE: If you ever had a crush on me, or still do. LIKE: This status if you think I'm a good friend.… — Eric Shakya Copy Share Image
Facebook is such a stupid thing, which is not gonna let you do anything, It works by holding you back and tied… — Hasan Abid Copy Share Image
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. She got out of bed… — Harriet Morgan Copy Share Image
On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its mess up when u never pay attention to somebody til u heard some freaky stuff about them...I havent pay any attention… — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
