That painful moment when the roof of your mouth gets stabbed by a Dorito. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you post the funniest facebook status you have ever written but no one likes ! xP — Komal Copy Share Image
Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a disorder where I stay up all night and eat ... Its called insom-nom-nom-nia — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Tip: Speak English. Kiss French. Drive German. Dress Italian. Spend Arab. Party Caribbean. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
''SYMPATHY''... You can get from Anybody -- But...!! ''JEALOUSY''... You have to Earn it…!!!!!!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook is getting more and more funny.., it asks you What's Happening and in your friends wall it comes up when they… — Essekia Paul Copy Share Image
I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when R.Kelly dies and God asks him : Are you a mountain,Are you a tall tree,are you really the… — Boat_Grandberry Copy Share Image
5% of all hearing loss is a result of sitting in a restaurant next to a table full of women who just… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There is nothing as disgusting as the feeling you get the moment that your finger breaks through the toilet paper. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop being so homophobic. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We can freak someone out if we want to: 1. Find someone on Facebook with the same name as you. 2. Steal… — Kand3n Copy Share Image
My mom says to me, Honey, I don't want you to think I have diabetes because I'm fat. I have diabetes because… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish we had a relationship Starbucks cuz that's where you make it perfect. You can get everything perfect at Starbucks. If… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Your opinion is about as relevant as Vanilla Ice in 2012. If you still wear FUBU don't tell me how to dress,… — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
Some great sexy sayings- U cannot taste me, until u undressme? -Banana. U cannot eat me unless u lick me - Ice… — Sniper Alpacino Copy Share Image
In a fake and pretending world, being natural and true makes you an alien…attracting the still functional curious brains and boggles out… — Rizzi Vicci Copy Share Image
These niggas more insecure than the women, naw I dont want yo lady homie and stop letting her gas you up like… — Tg Copy Share Image
Dear Illiterate People, If you read something...(probably just on Facebook) the correct past tense spelling is NOT RED The most you may… — LA Watts Copy Share Image
