I drove my expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you wanna know something, ask me. Don't assume. That's how drama starts. — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
When you don't have a good signal on your phone and you go all lion king on it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A wife is just an attachment men screw on the bed to get the housework done. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I was younger I thought the only thing people believed in was god. Now I see hippies bowing for Hippies. O.o — Corey Bird Copy Share Image
Just let me know if there's anything I can do this month to further the cause of healthy breasts. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Her: I make heads turn when I walk in a room. Me: People always stare at car accidents. -Just Saying — Ephrem Hardin Copy Share Image
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer… — Danish Copy Share Image
Like a good neighbor STATE FARM is there, - WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT NIGGA ? — Jacob Hadley Copy Share Image
I didn't give a fuck until I drank Red Bull. Now I don't give a flying fuck. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Honey, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex! It's also the food preparation. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear xams.. sorry to say this but we dont get along qte well..! the more closer u cum the more am pissed… — Allarefake Copy Share Image
I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent and now he'll never have any friends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If ants were the size of humans, they would be able to run twice as fast as a Lamborghini. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of romance and marriage; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Rumors. Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook should have a limit on how many times a relationship status can be change ... after 3 times it should be… — Ronak Gurung Copy Share Image
RELATIONSHIP like Bonnie and Clyde ; SEX like Jody and Yvette ; ARGUE like Ike and Tina ; and MAKE UP like Martin and Gina. — Me Copy Share Image
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My dog thinks I am patting his belly...little does he know I am playing the most epic drum solo of all time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
