There's a fine line between doing a fist pump and looking like you're jacking off an invisible giant. — Kevin Hart Copy Share Image
After cooking dinner tonight, I realized there is no straight way to wash a carrot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate being tickled, I do not think it's cute, I do not find it funny, I will kick you in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder how some people can keep up with both their Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook...I cant even keep up with the Kardashians. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you sprinkle a path of rose petals on the floor...you could make a trip to the bathroom look romantic. — Lacey Copy Share Image
A penis has a sad life: His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy,… — Myself Copy Share Image
Seeing someone with a bangin' body! but an ugly face and getting so devistated! — Zendy Copy Share Image
The day Facebook adds a Who Cares? button will be the best day ever! — Arjun Loveable Copy Share Image
One day you are gonna retweet & star me like I retweet & star you, and just like you, I won't care. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook is just like a jail. you sit around,waste some time,creep a little bit,have a profile picture,write on people's walls and get… — Arjun Loveable Copy Share Image
Why do porn sites have a Share To Facebook button??? Who watches porn and thinks, You kno who would really enjoy this????… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
I would like to open a restaurant, call it the Marilyn Monroe Café, and put hundreds of pictures of Jeff Goldblum on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
So many straws, in 1 milk shake glass So many fight, for thori si pepsi So many hands, in 1 chips pack… — Shadawcatt Copy Share Image
KISSING, An action that only marriage can transform from a pleasure to a duty — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes, the only thing left to do is to let go even if it's the hardest thing to do. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Man who keep feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants. Woman who slides down banister, makes monkey shine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Bitches be trying act like they single & happy...u single cause ya last name is LEE...UGG-LEE & LONG-LEE — IG:caonte_2_funny Copy Share Image
They say treat people the way you like to be treated. I say retweet people the way they retweet you!. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Roses are red grass is greener when I think of you I touch my wiener. Roses are red lemons are sour spread… — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
