The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I look at her boobs, and she looks at my dick, and that's when I realize the best things in life are… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Regarding jam sessions: jazz musicians are the only workers I can think of who are willing to put in a full shift… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LUXURIES, Items which, by grand design, always cost more -- for example: a divorce decree costs more than a marriage license — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
*Logs on Chat-site ..looks through friend requests...Aceepts* HEY!!...It's like i've seen you before..just can't remember where..oh! you would'nt happen to have a… — JORdinary_[Ws Copy Share Image
My Girlfriend just said that I should stop acting like an year old. I almost choked on her boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If u cant change the life change the wife ... ;) life automatically change :P lmao . :) ;) — Kd Copy Share Image
The other day at radio shack a manager was giving out dead batteries free of charge — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear Warner Bros: Now that I'm an adult, I feel I'm am old enough to hear what the "Beep Beep" is hiding… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
*Son walks in on dad in the shower* Son: Dad what's that hairy thing between your legs Dad: Well son that's the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Parent: What did you learn today? Student: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when people think my tweets be about them like bitch , aint nobody thinking about you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when your legs go numb and try to get up ,but you end up falling on the ground... — Sarahi Gonzalez Copy Share Image
I hate that moment when I thought my phone was charging, when it wasn't even plugged in!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If my boss paid me in Trident Layers, I'd probably have to kick his ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
