Funny Quote by Steven Wright Download Open image “I parked in the tow-away zone, and when I got back, the entire neighborhood was gone.” — Steven Wright ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.9 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Gone Humor Neighborhood Tow Zone
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I parked in front of the Field Museum under a NO PARKING sign. There were a couple of actual spots I could have used,… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
I remember, this one time, one of my best friends was living with us for a little while, this place we were renovating. We… — Jonathan Scott Copy Share Image
If you have a little extra parking, I err on the side of getting rid of it in favor of having some more greenery. — Michael King Copy Share Image
I don't leave my neighborhood. I don't go anywhere. There are four blocks I live in and there are two coffee shops, one at… — Ben Folds Copy Share Image
Don't ever leave your garage for a parking spot on the street and don't ever leave your bed for a spot on the couch. — M Walder Copy Share Image
It was just music all day... My neighbors were musicians, and my brother and my family and everybody... It was just a musical neighborhood.… — Trombone Shorty Copy Share Image
After convincing myself that was maybe you should at least help out your neighborhood, I really started to think about it later on in… — Rick Danko Copy Share Image
Well I walked over the bridge into the city where I live, and I saw my old landlord. — Amos Lee Copy Share Image
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
