Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““I spilled semen everywhere. No wonder the world is overpopulated. ”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.3 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“Guys are dumb. They're stupid and the only reason they exist is because their semen keeps the planet populated.” — Amy Kinzer Copy Share Image
“To hear you tell it, you'd think man was only put on this earth to keep urinals from going to waste.” — Barbara Kingsolver Copy Share Image
“I’ve gone cold turkey. Completely. I haven’t even jerked off. Not once. In nine frigging days. I think the buildup of semen is starting… — Emma Chase Copy Share Image
“British spies stopped using semen as invisible ink because it began to smell if it wasn’t fresh.” — John Lloyd Copy Share Image
“At the bar, I asked her what she’d like to drink, hoping she’d reply, “Your semen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I gave my girlfriend a gallon of my semen and a minivan and told her to fill it up with kids. Big mistake! I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It's like you have a special skill when it comes to finding condoms. Seriously. They must fall out of the sky whenever you're around.” — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
