“I took a shower under a fountain drink machine at a gas station because it beats showering with unleaded gasoline at $3.33… — Jarod Kintz Computers Copy Share Image
“A brick could be renamed something clever and cute, like President, and repackaged and resold to a solid base of sheep consumers… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love isn’t a series of slogans like “Just do it,” “It’s the real thing,” or “Go ahead, stick it in my butt.”… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“I’m a designer. I’m trying to design a half a person, but I’m looking for a business partner, a female who’ll contribute… — Jarod Kintz Business Copy Share Image
“I am an orange construction cone, and I say to you, “Caution.” This is my advice for love—and for driving while blindfolded,… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“A ball is a great place to dance, or a great thing to dribble. A ball is also a great thing to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Speaking of grandmas, have you heard the joke about grandparents and WWII? No? Well, if you do, be sure to tell me… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll tell myself whatever I need to hear to stop listening.” — Jarod Kintz Communication Copy Share Image
“I once made love to a taco shell stuffed with rancid meat and watery tomato bits. It was the best sex I’ve… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“You know what’s not funny? Funny bones. No, at best they are only mildly amusing.” — Jarod Kintz Funny Copy Share Image
“Last week I was very ill. I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. Which is great, because before I felt like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to blanket the city of Hamburg with a slice of melted cheese.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am a social outcast, shunned by society. Nobody ever invites me to parties. My own birthday avoids me, and only comes… — Jarod Kintz Birthday Copy Share Image
“I haven't personally met God yet, but when I do, I'll ask him if he still believes in you. I'm sure he… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a sail for my self-esteem when I’m floating upstream on the turbulent river of my subconscious.… — Jarod Kintz Sailing Copy Share Image
“A brick could deliver the zeitgeist through the thick skull of a politician faster than any letter or email. ” — Jarod Kintz Politics Copy Share Image
Economist should be spelled echonomist, because they all repeat each other. — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I gave her a Boston cream pie, even though we were in Seattle at the time.” — Jarod Kintz Time Copy Share Image
“I like to fantasize about how far I’ll have come in a year. A year from now, I’ll be 12 months further… — Jarod Kintz Work hard Copy Share Image
“The fastest way for me to achieve self-improvement is with The Opponent Apparatus (my clone).” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Only the living can read. This means that when I write, my target market is people of the future. Greetings, people of… — Jarod Kintz Goals Copy Share Image
