“I’d rather go into a competition as the underdog. Less pressure to perform, and more motivation.” — Jarod Kintz Sports Copy Share Image
“I am a great customer. I’m not a loyal customer, but that’s what makes me great—my willingness to shop other brands for… — Jarod Kintz Marketing Copy Share Image
“Bio I never got around to using: Jarod is a best-selling author reader. He has given speeches in over .5 countries, and… — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“Don’t go on a ghost tour, because you won’t see a ghost. Well, you might. Maybe I have ghost blindness and can’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. Knowing that women like to buy two things above all else, shoes and purses, I combined… — Jarod Kintz Dreams Copy Share Image
“I live 30 times faster and more intensely than most people, so every year is a whole generation for me. I’d like… — Jarod Kintz Fast food Copy Share Image
“Like the ocean I wave. Hello and goodbye are the same, when I talk with my hand.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Though I can and sometimes do use chopsticks, I much prefer using my hands to pee.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The way the crotch of my jeans are constructed makes it look like I have an erection when I don’t. That’s why… — Jarod Kintz Whole world Copy Share Image
“A brick and blanket could be used to turn my words around like backwards high heels on my tongue .” — Jarod Kintz High heels Copy Share Image
“Not to be conceited, but I think I made a real impact on her life. And I was only driving 45 mph… — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“Call me paranoid, but the shape the human hand makes when extending out for a handshake looks suspiciously like a karate chop.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When congratulations are in order, I like to wait until they’re out of order to offer a high five or enthusiastic pat… — Jarod Kintz Congratulations Are In Order Copy Share Image
“I admire the Stanley Cup. I’ll bet winning it could provide enough clean water for half of Africa (the middle half).” — Jarod Kintz Clean water Copy Share Image
“I’ve always felt that the best place to hide a body is in the trunk of a cop car, with a note… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m going outside to get a breath of fresh air. Anybody got a cigarette I can have?” — Jarod Kintz Fresh air Copy Share Image
“A brick could be substituted in for Kansas as a US state, because they’re roughly the same shape, they have the same… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I applied for an overnight stocking position at a supermarket, but I didn’t get the job. It probably went to somebody the… — Jarod Kintz Management Copy Share Image
“But I still have no cash flow. I need a job, or the gift of prophecy and a plane ticket to Las… — Jarod Kintz Cash flow Copy Share Image
“Much to my delight, I found her panties to be full of mashed potatoes—but I had to supply all the gravy.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a fashion accessory. Or an accessory to murder. I believe the phrase is, "If looks could… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The difference between noon and midnight is the same as the separation between sex and masturbation. Sexually, you can find me at… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In 1,000 pages of Orafoura’s novel, I noticed he repeated one word twice. It really stood out to me. The word? Sit.” — Jarod Kintz Language Copy Share Image
“When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls.” — Jarod Kintz Desire Copy Share Image
“I can kick the can down the road, and I can also kick other modal verbs.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A boring machine, would it drill holes—or put you to sleep? The two-party political system, that’s a boring machine, though voters are… — Jarod Kintz Computers Copy Share Image
“Every mission needs ammunition, even if it’s not bullets, but fiery pep talks.” — Jarod Kintz Goals Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to back the dollar. Hey, it’s better than the dollar being backed by nothing, right? ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I celebrate my birthday in ways not seen this side of the Old Testament. I celebrate my life like the Dead Sea,… — Jarod Kintz Birthday Copy Share Image
“You’re disoriented. You’re in the future. You just woke up. You’ve been asleep for eight hours. ” — Jarod Kintz Time Copy Share Image
“Dear Miss Hummingbird, The leaves are turning green now, but not with envy. But they should be envious, because I, Jarod Ora… — Jarod Kintz Interesting people Copy Share Image
“Scars are proof man isn’t perfect, though constantly getting closer.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you’re too slow off a red light, I’ll lay on my horn, because I’m a honky. Was that racist? Only if… — Jarod Kintz Racism Copy Share Image
“What I call talking to God, you may call talking to myself. Of course, I’m flattered that you’d think I am God.” — Jarod Kintz Talking to god Copy Share Image
“My love is made out of three things: the dawn, the sunrise, and redundancy. I poured you two glasses, which can easily… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“My car rides smooth like I’m driving a cloud. If I park it at your house, I may get rainwater on your… — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“On a unicycle, my tire will tire before I do. I ride for charity. I’m trying to raise enough money to buy… — Jarod Kintz Money Copy Share Image
