“Growing up, Renaldo and his father had a great relationship. At least until his father went and slept with someone else.” — Jarod Kintz Father Copy Share Image
“When I told her my love would stop her tears from falling, she started laughing. She laughed so hard she started crying.… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Beer has that Olympic medal color,” Rot replied, “but does it have a winning taste? I’d hardly call silver a champion flavor.… — Jarod Kintz Red wine Copy Share Image
“I don't like questions at all if they are anything like how I like my mashed potatoes: loaded.” — Jarod Kintz Mashed potatoes Copy Share Image
“Did I spell the word “did” right? Of course not! I got my D’s mixed up.” — Jarod Kintz Language Copy Share Image
“I’d like to let another person reveal my personality, and I’d like this person to be my clone. My clone would see… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I thought I ran over a politician’s dog, but when I discovered it was his wig, I was disappointed.” — Jarod Kintz Dog Copy Share Image
“The thing that has impacted life on earth the most is life on mars. That’s where the government is storing all my… — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“I was in Love once. I think I stayed at a Holiday Inn. Or maybe I was in Loveland, Co. But either… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Maybe I will buy my nephew an aquarium for his next birthday. It’s got to be better than the bathroom sink, which… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Hospitality is about welcoming you with open arms, and an outstretched erection. Please, have a seat on my penis. Can I get… — Jarod Kintz Open arms Copy Share Image
“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“I feel like something warm. Apple pie, with two slices of bread and roast beef, covered in a winter coat.” — Jarod Kintz Apple pie Copy Share Image
“I feel like I’m walking around in a fog. Orafoura doesn’t call me Mr. Mist for nothing.” — Jarod Kintz Walking around Copy Share Image
“I decided to eat my legal counsel, because at 200 bucks an hour it was either that or pay the man. And… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The word “Building” makes a completed structure seem under construction. Once a building is finished, it should be called a “Built.” Similarly,… — Jarod Kintz Architecture Copy Share Image
“I went to a networking event once. I passed out before I passed out my business cards. My business was called Blacked… — Jarod Kintz Business Copy Share Image
“American civilization isn’t advancing as fast as our military is. The only problem is we should be retreating.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
