Jokes Quotes by George Carlin

9 Jokes quotes by George Carlin

Legendary comic Carlin provides nine sharp observations about humor, each line cutting to the core of his satirical edge.

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I believe you can joke about anything.

George Carlin

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The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding…

George Carlin

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Humor is based on surprise, and surprise is a milder way of saying shock. It's surprise that makes the joke.

George Carlin

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I like my jokes to be built on a foundation of ideas, or at least smart observations.

George Carlin

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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.

George Carlin

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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go…

George Carlin

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I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue…

George Carlin

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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely…

George Carlin

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Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality…

George Carlin

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More by George Carlin

I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.

George Carlin

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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.

George Carlin

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Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken…

George Carlin

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“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both…

George Carlin

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“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out…

George Carlin

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I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.

George Carlin

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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.

George Carlin

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“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital…

George Carlin

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You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

George Carlin

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It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,…

George Carlin

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Is there another word for synonym?

George Carlin

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The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the…

George Carlin

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These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.

George Carlin

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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

George Carlin

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What was the best thing before sliced bread?

George Carlin

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