“This was our last night. We only had one curtain call, Bree. And I thought they were going to give us a… — Mary Stanton Copy Share Image
“I wear my cool on the inside; that's why my hands are always so cold.” — Dia Reeves Copy Share Image
I suppose I look for humor in most situations because it humanizes things; it makes a character much more three-dimensional if there's… — Colm Meaney Copy Share Image
I take making music seriously, but you have to have a sense of humor about yourself. I invite people into my life.… — Mac DeMarco Copy Share Image
Fool and Stupid are funny twin brothers in the house of Mr Ignorance — Harold Tchaiso Copy Share Image
A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I went to art school for fine art and then I started doing performance art, and then I started making fun of… — Mary Lynn Rajskub Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. You set a timer on in the bathroom to prove how long it takes… — Crystal Hudson Copy Share Image
It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“I'm so much more scared of white guys than black guys. Like an angry black guys would pull out a gun and… — Jeremy Iversen Copy Share Image
Prostitutes are way better than marriage. Why buy a whole cow, when you only want a glass of milk? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“She chuckles. "If you love it now, you should see it before. Back before there's more hotels and bars than shells. Back… — Kristen Hubbard Copy Share Image
It's so much fun to be around someone who enjoys life...someone who can find humor in almost any situation and who brings… — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
“Si los seres humanos no dejan de hacer ejercicio con los labios, su cerebro empieza a funcionar.” — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
I love comedy. David's Lynch the only person I've worked with more than once who sees me as a specific thing -… — Laura Dern Copy Share Image
“Say what you want about fairies, but you haven't rocked out until you've heard Smoke on the Water played on a harpsichord.… — Red Tash Copy Share Image
“I don't know about this here eternal marriage business. But it seems to me that if you can't live with the sons-of-bitches… — J. Golden Kimball Copy Share Image
The bulk of my work is comedy and I wanted to use the gaming world as a vehicle to deliver comedy. — Zoe Quinn Copy Share Image
“We never know what will happen next, what we will see, and what important person will come into our life, or what… — Mark T. Sullivan Copy Share Image
Personally I don't spend much time thinking about being funny. For me it's always been just a way to get by, a… — Wendy Wasserstein Copy Share Image
My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“You can do this, Adria. Don't wolf-out on me, especially not in my lap, alright? These are my favorite jeans.” — J.A. Redmerski Copy Share Image
“Hey, monkey pussy, you might want to give those meat curtains a spit shine before you leave the house.” — Debra Anastasia Copy Share Image
“I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Who are you all going to gossip about once the celebrities leave town? You’ll need to find someone else to talk about.”… — Tina Reber Copy Share Image
“Don't worry about it. If I'm wrong, Security is monitoring me every second." "That just means they'll know who to charge with… — Mike Resnick Copy Share Image
The days of discriminating against religious institutions simply because they are religious must come to an end. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
I made $3,000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash. That was a bad situation, because I bought… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Even Colin - the golden boy, the man with the easy smile and devilish humor - had raw spots of his own.… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
“The bride will keep her name and, after considerable negotiation, the groom will, too.” — Meg Waite Clayton Copy Share Image
Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you… — Jean Rostand Copy Share Image
People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I like that people try to be funny even though there not because it's so much easier to be an ass hole… — Merle Anthony Rowland Copy Share Image
